From Comparison to Confidence: A Guide to Building Self-Esteem

Written By: Emily Holton, LPC

Do you ever find yourself doom-scrolling on social media, comparing your life to everyone’s story—and then feeling like you’re falling short? You’re not alone. It’s easy to slip into a lack mentality when you’re constantly measuring yourself against others. But here’s the truth: comparison is the thief of joy. What if, instead of using others’ success as a way to criticize yourself, you saw it as a spark of inspiration or motivation? What if someone else’s accomplishments simply reminded you of what’s possible for you too?

Tips to Improve Self-Esteem & Build Confidence

1. Explore where you want to grow

Start by asking yourself: Where do I want to feel more confident? Is it in speaking up? Setting boundaries? Trying something new? Get specific, then create a small, realistic action plan. Confidence grows through intentional steps.

2. Do Hard Things (On Purpose)

Challenges help you develop mental and emotional strength while increasing problem solving skills. Trying something new—even if you fail at first or if it feels uncomfortable— putting yourself out there can create a sense of empowerment and capability. Confidence grows every time you face adversity and keep going. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being persistent.

3. Mirror Work

Yes, it might feel awkward at first—but looking into your own eyes and saying kind, encouraging words rewires your brain. Try: “I am worthy, capable and I bring value to a space.” Say it like you mean it—because you will eventually start to believe it.

4. Write Empowering Mantras

Create short, powerful affirmations that reflect the version of you you’re becoming. Stick them on your bathroom mirror, fridge, car dash—wherever you need reminders of your strength and worth.

5. EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique)

This is a mind-body technique that involves gently tapping on specific meridian points (like the side of your hand or under your eye) while saying affirmations. EFT helps release stored emotional stress and reprogram limiting beliefs. It can be especially powerful for calming anxiety and boosting self-worth. You can find a variety of free EFT tapping videos online for increasing self-esteem and confidence.

6. Celebrate Yourself Daily

Make it a habit to journal one thing you like about yourself, or something you did well today—even if it’s small. Over time, this daily recognition builds a more loving and accurate self-image.

7. Take a Social Media Detox

Even a short break from social scrolling can work wonders. Use that time to read an inspiring book, listen to an uplifting podcast, or work on a creative project. Tune into what fills you up—and consciously step away from what drains you.

8. Volunteer or Help Someone

Giving back can instantly shift your focus from lack to abundance. Acts of kindness build a sense of purpose and remind you that you do have value to offer, just as you are.

9. Move Your Body

Exercise doesn’t just boost physical health—it also lifts mood, sharpens focus, and improves self-image. Whether it’s yoga, dancing, walking, or strength training, find movement that makes you feel alive.

10. Connect with Supportive People

Be mindful about who you surround yourself with. Choose people who see you, support you, and reflect your light

& the truth of who you are: worthy, resilient, and more than enough—right here, right now.

11. Shift your mindset from comparison to curiosity

Comparison shrinks us while curiosity expands us and invites us to grow. Ask yourself questions like, ‘What can I learn from this person? What is it about their confidence or situation that can inspire me?’ This shift turns a lack mindset into an opportunity mindset. By being curious, we can allow ourselves to self reflect and begin to create the confidence to show up as ourselves.

One Day at a Time

Take one day at a time. Improving your self-esteem is a journey and it’s about taking one kind, intentional step at a time. Give yourself grace and compassion in the process. Confidence is a muscle—one that gets stronger with use, consistency and persistence. You deserve to feel proud and confident within yourself and it is possible!

If you felt this was helpful please share with family and friends. If you want more support improving self esteem and confidence reach out via email or phone to schedule a free consult.